I will not like you if you spell your name:

Kris
Cris
Jhon
Arak

Ok, ok, it was your parents choice to name you that. You’re right, my bad.

E-Colostomy Bag pointed out that I get up too early for Skip “I might be a Vampire” Bayless. Well put. Here are my options:

1. Reruns of “Saved By The Bell”, in all of its glorious incarnations
2. Reruns of “Coach”
3. Get fit with Gilad
4. Robin and Company
5. The creepy skinny guy with the bad goatee telling us all how important it is to have a clean colon
6. Bad local news (“Coming up at 6…three things that you do every day, that are killing you!…back in a moment”)

Not many options, though SBTB and Coach did get their fair shot.

Things that you think are healthy (and they are, for most people) that a bodybuilder wouldn’t dream of eating pre-contest:

1. Apples
2. Oranges
3. Bananas
4. This could take awhile. Fruit in general.
5. Rice
6. Tomatos (i know, its fruit. Spare me.)
7. Granola
8. Yogurt
9. Pretty much all milk products (cows have hormones bodybuilders don’t want, and lactic acid makes your face puffy)
10. Carrots (a suprising amount of sugar)
11. Corn (see #11)

Things a bodybuilder CAN eat while pre-contest

1. Chicken
2. Tuna
3. Lean cuts of steak
4. Egg whites
5. Green, leafy produce
6. Protein shakes
7. Water
8. Peanut butter

And really thats about it. Makes you kinda glad you only came *thisclose* to stepping up onstage, but instead opted for a life of pure sanity. People will always question what it is about bodybuilders that makes them do what they do. Miserable most of the time. Grouchy (lack of carbs). Hungry. Tired. Sore. I think that the attraction to bodybuilding (past all the people who do it for aesthetics, they wouldn’t stand a chance on stage…i’m talking about the people whose look isn’t very pretty, so big, so veiny, etc…) is the discipline, the self-control, a bit of exhibitionism, and the rush that you can get to show the world what you have…nothing hidden. These are many of the reasons I did my first show. I cannot *guarantee* that I will never do one again, but somethings would have to change. I would have to be independently wealthy so that I can focus only on that, and still have time for a social/family life. So, until that day, I will focus on other, more sane challenges. My next one is a powerlifting meet in december. As with the Marathon and Mr. Minnesota, I am not doing it to win, but to push myself to an extreme, to see what I am made of. I will provide more details when I have them.

Mr. Samback would like to point out that when he was in the army, he was routinely called upon to large amounts of pushups. He was able to do this through a diet of green beans and frankfurters.